Post mortem

As another day comes to a close, the inner loser I am becomes exposed;
The intrinsic avoidance I am used to portraying a change that I have chose;
A change for the best, that is my hope, my voice is my rope;
Every lie I ever told a knot that could weaken the life line I am using to cope;
Dangling in space, the darkness that surrounds, I don't know what's really out there, but I can guess from all the sounds;
Echos from the lost voices, my own truths are many choices;
Will I ever escape the hate that I've scraped effortlessly like gum pressed into pavement, blackened over time, the harder it's pressed the thinner it gets, coated with grime.

Nothing but a series of questions I find myself asking aloud;
Answers slowly come to me, the more I hear the less I am proud;
The less pride I feel, the more the angst sets in;
All I ever did before is because I just wanted to win;
I made choices that had high stakes, return on investment very low;
Never thought I'd be cashing in, but now that I have, I must reap what I sow.


I was once broken, pieces scattered amongst the stars;
Now I have to go collect them, traveling both near and far;
I regret many of my choices, I told myself I'd never regret;
The more time went on the less I felt whole, and the more I became upset;
Picking up the pieces, some are shattered, some are lost, probably never be the same again, and I ask at what cost?

Perhaps the pieces missing are the ones I no longer wanted;
I can make new pieces up, become better instead of haunted;
Daunting is the process, elimination is the state, where my present and the future must come together to create;
Now the new me is quite suiting, I just have to keep it up, pull myself back together if I want to fill my cup;
Tomorrow is another day, a brand new fresh start, at the end of tomorrow I hope my repertoire is like fine art.

Bitter Pill to Swallow

Been someone else for so long I forgot how myself feels, Guess that's what I get when I let go of the wheel. Guess that I forgot that my own life was so real that the one that I invented became plastic it revealed that the person that I thought I was was truly not the truth. Only took a single moment for the fake me to go poof. Only took some time in solitude to understand my spoof.

I am doing away with the smoke and mirrors, allowing only sunlight in to ensure I see clear. I am ridding of the darkness that consumed my entire being, breaking all the chains away allowing only freeing. As I make strides towards a better me I understand the hurt, caused by all my actions and those I treated as just dirt.

But remember this taking into consideration all my running through the fields was like the plowing for integrating. Dirt is such an understated medium for growing, only everything that grows needs something to start the flowing. My foundation has been rough and completion is quite near, Only want to grow the greatest, ridding all the field of fear.

I am past the point of being so mindless, its demanding. I've got to do what's needed if there's room left for expanding. I depended on the dependency of a lack of independence, now my actions are endeavors for reactions to my penance. I will only make the choices that have outcomes that are greater than the one I made before, which left nothing but a crater.

I wish only to grow big and strong, up to the sky, and then beyond. I know there were sacrifices made along the way, but the painful march towards progress is to take the hurt and stay. I am more real now than I have been in forever, sucks it had to come to this, but I'm only getting better.

Sweet and short

I've been floating about on the jetsam of life, when I stopped just to ponder why it is with such stifling profound prolific articulation that my memory conjures images created with half the facts of limited information which in it self is quite limitless.

Congeniality can be venomous depending on the stability of which it is laid for such dismal thoughts can be that which sway entire generations from happiness towards dismay. Now if I may for a moment portray my own conjecture indeed it is the thing that can levitate hectares of nothing.

If you only believe, that's is at least half the battle, twice in one week. If disapproval is what you seek than sleuth forward, because the only direction everything is truly going is in a downward spiral. I be showing you how to do the thing that you do when the soup spoon is too big use the hole in a screw.

sparkle factory

A toast for the post that I post the most when I post as I do whilst I'm giving this toast.

A full grown grin towards the man whose tragically hip so if he learns that he will turn the flop before it flips, tighten up my lips because the case for the vase has begun like the chundle king  and if you're wondering, the taste that I'm seeming to thread like I'm seaming the edge is vunder zing.

Neolithic tidal wave plunders through the under pinned equity line that you'll find is quite ehh-quit quietly I'll see something somewhere has to  give if the normal apparatus is the under quilt and sieve, then the system is flawed, and the whole sign is a drill of the entire empire, as retirees ride and they spin in their hover round, floating above ground riding through town.

Now the temperatures low and the slipping on the ground has a chance in which the index has entirely spun round, releasing statements unclaimed by the slippages and limitless understanding left made, from pretext without recourse and what's still is unlaid retorts that are half made and under grade.

A toast I say, A toast to the least of the queasiest host without quizzerifict feats.

The Centurian Post

This one here this marks the hundredth post I've made,
How many words I've laid, the verbs I've displayed,
I'm thinking about taking this to another forum,
Presently I'm unscared of what it is I'm in for, or is it foreign.

Policy dictates unadulterated bliss in the wink of an eye,
Yet in the flick of a wrist the aspects of which were formidable to say the least,
Are they sitting on the bottom, or are they indulging on the feast.
Carpet makers marking up markets in the midst of a saturated carpet market, try to bark that.

I can nae say for which it is I do know that I do not,
If the farmer herds the sheep, and the shepherds grow the crops,
What a mixed up place would not you agree?
If so then why let bygones just be?

Why not stir up the pot, pound the ground,
Get the goulash a slip slosh slopping around,
If you eat a whole pound cake would you gain a whole pound?
Mental lost, or perhaps just yet to be found.

Crystal Quest Junction

One more time, one last quest, before I go and blow my LSAT test, I haven't ever studied for, too busy wasting time being bored. Wishing I was adored yet underestimate the stress that comes with being on the other side of that which I strive to achieve, success. Knowing in my very core that inside me there is greatness, I just struggle to see how it is I will unlock this potential yet I'm relentless.

 I call it as I see, I see the things that haven't happened yet, I see that there is me. I am the one that can be incredible yet awesomely awkward, and it's inevitable, the dubious delight that you ever heard of, I'm talking about me, that's right.

Rushing through life I stumble upon a website running into my Russian wife, apparently she's waiting for me at the other end of my soon to be marriage slash girlfriend unfriendliest pending documentation to be demonstrating the narcoleptic attempt to live life the way we shape it to be, and even when it doesn't that doesn't ever matter cause we got another cousin, or friend to expend go ahead have at er.

Cause experience speaks volumes, inexplicably delicious, I just bought a new aquarium but haven't got the fishes. I just brought the Peruvian chocolate which melted on the dishes. Now my new Egyptian shirts got brown and I bet it tastes exquisite.

I do digress cause the neanderthal part of my brain makes me detest to the thought of a society where civil unrest is created purposely to be debated and demonstrate in the public and surely it's sure that in the alley way it goes down, but never the less accepted, which makes my brow frown.

Flubbity blubba, crub rub dubbity dubb, I spent two nights in the shower but never stepped foot in a tub. Tuppy tip top tottle, tattle in the dark, when the crazzle comes a cramming hopefully it leaves no mark.

Figured Out

Thought I had it figured out.
Thought I had it understood.
Thought it was set in solid stone.
Thought soon it would all be good.

Turns out it didn't work that way.
Turns out I might not be okay.
Turns out the things I thought were great were a lie.
Turns out the guy was truly sly.

No idea what to do.
No problem for those who don't see through.
No plan too good.
No plan should of been used.

I guess for this purpose precaution should, be taken.
I guess when it comes down to it, it's the people that keep breaking, promises.
I guess in hindsight I should have made, better decisions.
I guess the positive in the issue is the conclusion.